i’m terrified of sounding mean on the internet so i always add too many exclamation marks and smiley faces but i think it makes me sound like a primary school teacher
The worst part about liking classical music is when you forget the name of a piece and you can’t google the lyrics because there are none
There’s a very drunk man down my street who has been flirting with a tree for twenty minutes now.
He’s on his knees now. I think he’s proposing.
Drunk man currently walking away from the tree, shouting “YOU’RE ALL THE SAME”.
as a serial killer my name would be the suspense so my victims would be like “oh no, the suspense is killing me” and we would both laugh right before i killed them
if a song was in shrek theres no way to un-associate it with shrek its forever going to be a shrek song
some people like to say that america is super smart but let me tell you that it’s only 4:23pm, it’s fucking bright outside with not a single cloud and people are already launching fireworks and I can hear people being disappointed because there was a boom but no lights
NO BOOM BOOM WITH LIGHTS MAKE GEORGE WASHINGTON ANGRY
Adventure of Chris Evans
LOL WTF IS THIS I CAN’T EVEN
Almost July 4th, time for all of the ridiculous Freedom posts to begin…
Ah yes, 11:59pm…only one more minut-
…what the fuck?
wHAT DA FUCK??
I…wha…well maybe I can work with this. Hey, you wanna have a rousing discussion about truth? Honor? Patriotism? God bless-